Most of us know what it\u2019s like to face other people\u2019s opinions about having children. Society still quietly expects everyone to get a job, meet a partner, marry, and have kids\u2014so couples who choose not to often feel pressured to justify themselves. And when people don\u2019t understand that choice, their personal questions can be uncomfortable and intrusive.<\/p>\n
Ironically, not having children is sometimes labeled selfish\u2014yet when couples who seem \u201cdifferent\u201d want children, that judgment can quickly flip.<\/p>\n
Over 20 years ago, Patti White from California learned that her daughter Lisa, who has Down syndrome, was pregnant. Lisa\u2019s condition is often misunderstood; many people with Down syndrome can live independently, work, and care for themselves. Still, it\u2019s uncommon for two people with Down syndrome to have a child since men with Down syndrome rarely father children.<\/p>\n
Patti was shocked but fully supported Lisa\u2019s decision to keep the baby. At 29, Lisa had her own apartment, had lived independently for 11 years, and worked full-time at Goodwill. She was in a relationship with a man who also had Down syndrome, and Patti had talked with her about birth control and safe sex\u2014believing, like many, that men with Down syndrome were typically infertile.<\/p>\n
Then one day, Patti received an excited voicemail: \u201cHi mum, you\u2019re going to be a GRANDMOTHER!\u201d<\/p>\n
Although outsiders criticized Lisa\u2019s decision as irresponsible, her family stood by her. Lisa had a fairly typical pregnancy, though it was considered high-risk. Her son, Nic, was born four weeks early and, like his parents, had Down syndrome. Lisa and Nic\u2019s father tried living together but eventually separated, and Nic\u2019s father passed away when Nic was five.<\/p>\n
Raised by Lisa and Patti, Nic grew into a confident, accomplished young man. Some friends distanced themselves from Lisa during her pregnancy, but none of that mattered in the long run. Nic thrived\u2014he later graduated from college and deeply appreciates the women who raised him.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have two moms,\u201d he said. \u201cMy mom Lisa is my greatest future. She gave me life and love, and she is always wonderful.\u201d<\/p>\n
In 2016, Patti shared a photo of Lisa and Nic with a heartfelt message:<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is my daughter, Lisa, clowning with her son, Nic. They both have Down Syndrome\u2026 She\u2019ll turn 50 and he\u2019ll turn 20. Our goal when she became pregnant was for her to know him and have a relationship with him. After all these years, they\u2019ve overcome the odds and share tremendous love as their own little family.\u201d<\/p>\n Most of us know what it\u2019s like to face other people\u2019s opinions about having children. Society still quietly expects everyone to get a job, meet a partner, marry, and have kids\u2014so couples who choose not to often feel pressured to justify themselves. And when people don\u2019t understand that choice, their personal questions can be uncomfortable…<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/cdn-main.newsner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/11\/2021\/10\/05203754\/yt.jpeg\")
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