When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought I\u2019d met a real gentleman. Roses, a thoughtful gift, charming conversation \u2014 he ticked every box. So when I got a text from him the next morning, I expected a sweet follow-up.<\/p>\n
Instead, it was an invoice.<\/p>\n
Mia, my best friend, had set us up. \u201cHe\u2019s a total gentleman,\u201d she promised. I was skeptical \u2014 she\u2019d never played matchmaker before. But when I saw his photo and heard that her boyfriend, Chris, vouched for him too, I agreed to meet.<\/p>\n
Eric arrived with a bouquet of roses and a personalized keychain. At dinner, he was attentive, polite, and genuinely engaging. He wouldn\u2019t even let me pay, saying, \u201cA man pays on the first date,\u201d like it was a commandment. I left thinking it was one of the best first dates I\u2019d ever had.<\/p>\n
But the next morning, his \u201cfollow-up\u201d text was a shock. Attached was a professionally formatted invoice:<\/p>\n
Date Night Invoice \u2013 Amount Due: 1 Outstanding Balance<\/strong><\/p>\n Charges included:<\/p>\n Bouquet of Roses<\/strong>\u00a0= 1 hug<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Keychain Gift<\/strong>\u00a0= 1 coffee date<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Dinner<\/strong>\u00a0= A second date, no excuses<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Listening to You Talk<\/strong>\u00a0= A compliment about his looks At the bottom:\u00a0\u201cPayment is expected in full. Failure to comply may result in collections (Chris will hear about it).\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n I was stunned. I sent it to Mia, who immediately showed Chris. He couldn\u2019t stop laughing. \u201cWe need to get back at this dude,\u201d he said, and whipped up a\u00a0counter-invoice<\/em>\u00a0just as absurd:<\/p>\n Service Invoice \u2013 Amount Due: A Lifetime of Silence<\/strong><\/p>\n Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman<\/strong>\u00a0= Permanent block<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Letting You Sit at the Same Table as Her<\/strong>\u00a0= Formal apology to all women everywhere<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Not Posting This Online<\/strong>\u00a0= A generous act you should be thankful for<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n We sent it. Eric didn\u2019t take it well. He messaged back with gems like: I blocked him.<\/p>\n Later, Mia called, still laughing. \u201cI thought he was normal,\u201d she said. Lesson learned:<\/strong>\u00a0If a guy insists on paying, make sure he doesn\u2019t invoice you for emotional labor afterward.<\/p>\n (The keychain? I kept it. It\u2019s a hilarious souvenir from the weirdest date of my life.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought I\u2019d met a real gentleman. Roses, a thoughtful gift, charming conversation \u2014 he ticked every box. So when I got a text from him the next morning, I expected a sweet follow-up. Instead, it was an invoice. Mia, my best friend, had set us…<\/p>\n\n
\u2026and so on.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n
\u201cNot everyone\u2019s rich!\u201d
\u201cYou just lost a great guy.\u201d
\u201cChris is a terrible friend.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey,\u201d I shrugged. \u201cAt least we got a great story out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n