When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought I\u2019d found a true gentleman. Roses, a thoughtful gift, charming conversation \u2014 he checked every box. I went home smiling, thinking it might\u2019ve been the best first date I\u2019d ever had.<\/p>\n
It all started when my best friend, Mia, set us up. She\u2019d never played matchmaker before, but said, \u201cYou\u2019ll love him! Total gentleman.\u201d Her boyfriend, Chris, vouched for Eric too, which gave me some confidence. After texting a bit, we agreed to dinner at a riverfront Italian spot.<\/p>\n
Eric made quite the entrance \u2014 dressed well, flowers in hand, and even brought a custom keychain with my initial. He opened doors, pulled out chairs, asked thoughtful questions, and paid for dinner, saying, \u201cA man pays on the first date,\u201d like it was a rule etched in stone. I was impressed.<\/p>\n
The next morning, I expected a sweet follow-up text. Instead, I got\u2026 an\u00a0invoice<\/strong>.<\/p>\n Titled\u00a0\u201cDate Night Invoice \u2013 Amount Due: 1 Outstanding Balance\u201d<\/strong>, it detailed \u201ccharges\u201d like:<\/p>\n Bouquet of Roses: 1 hug<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Custom Keychain: 1 coffee date<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Dinner: A guaranteed second date<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Engaging Conversation: A compliment on his looks<\/p>\n<\/li>\n And so on\u2026<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n At the bottom: I sent it to Mia immediately. \u201cWHAT. THE. HELL.\u201d was her response, followed by Chris calling me, cackling in disbelief. He quickly whipped up a fake\u00a0counter-invoice<\/strong>:<\/p>\n Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman: 1 permanent block<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Pretending to Be a Gentleman: A deep reflection on why you\u2019re still single<\/p>\n<\/li>\n Not Exposing You Online: A generous gift<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n We sent it to Eric. He didn\u2019t take it well.<\/p>\n \u201cWow, real mature.\u201d I replied with a thumbs-up emoji and blocked him.<\/p>\n Later, Mia apologized, still laughing. \u201cAt least we got a story out of it,\u201d I said. And we sure did \u2014 one we\u2019ll be telling at parties for years.<\/p>\n Moral of the story? If a guy insists on paying, just make sure he\u2019s not expecting a\u00a0return on investment<\/strong>.<\/p>\n (And yes, I kept the keychain \u2014 it\u2019s a perfect souvenir from the weirdest date of my life.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought I\u2019d found a true gentleman. Roses, a thoughtful gift, charming conversation \u2014 he checked every box. I went home smiling, thinking it might\u2019ve been the best first date I\u2019d ever had. It all started when my best friend, Mia, set us up. She\u2019d never…<\/p>\n\n
\u201cPayment expected in full. No refunds. Failure to comply may result in collections (Chris will hear about it).\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n
\u201cYou just missed out on a GREAT guy.\u201d
\u201cChris is a terrible friend.\u201d<\/p>\n