Using someone’s preferred name and pronouns is a key sign of respect for their identity, whether they’re straight, gay, or transgender. Yet many still resist this, clinging to outdated norms.
Bennett Kaspar-Williams, 37, from Los Angeles, gave birth to son Hudson via C-section in October 2020 with husband Malik’s support. Though identifying as male and using he/him pronouns at the time (now also using they/them), Bennett faced repeated misgendering by hospital staff, who called him “mother” despite his clear identification as male.
Bennett began transitioning in 2014 after realizing he was transgender in 2011. Starting a family meant pausing testosterone therapy, and although he’d had top surgery, he hadn’t pursued lower surgery. After reflection, he felt comfortable carrying a child and became pregnant naturally not long after trying.
The pregnancy, while fulfilling, was marred by constant misgendering by medical staff, despite Bennett noting his gender on forms. This led him to advocate for separating gender from the concept of parenthood.
He criticized the medical system’s fixation on “motherhood,” arguing that not all women become mothers and not all who give birth are mothers. His experience underscores the need to respect gender identity in all aspects of care — especially during pregnancy and childbirth.
Now a proud parent, Bennett continues to share his story to highlight the need for inclusive and respectful language in healthcare.