When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought I’d met a true gentleman. Roses, a sweet gift, charming conversation — he was ticking every box. So when he texted the next day, I expected something cute.
My best friend Mia had set us up, convinced we’d click. “Total gentleman,” she’d said. Even her boyfriend Chris vouched for him, which made me agree.
Eric showed up with a bouquet of roses and a thoughtful gift — a custom keychain with my initial. He opened doors, asked about my life, and seemed genuinely interested. The dinner was perfect. When the check came, he insisted on paying: “A man pays on the first date,” he said, like it was law.
I went home smiling, thinking it might’ve been my best first date ever.
Then the next morning, I got a message. Not a sweet text — an invoice. Professionally formatted, complete with a breakdown:
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Roses = 1 hug
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Gift = 1 coffee date
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Dinner = guaranteed second date
At the bottom: Payment expected in full. No refunds. Failure to comply may result in collections (Chris will hear about it).
I sent it to Mia. Her response? “OH. MY. GOD.” Chris called me laughing so hard he could barely breathe. “This is insane,” he said. “We need to clap back.”
An hour later, Chris sent a mock invoice in return:
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Introducing you to a gorgeous woman = permanent block
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Convincing her you were a gentleman = deep self-reflection
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Letting you sit at her table = formal apology to all women
Eric’s reply? A series of angry texts about “realistic expectations” and how I missed out on a “great guy.” I sent him a thumbs-up emoji and blocked his number.
Later, Mia apologized, still laughing. “At least we got a great story,” I said — and we did.
Dating lesson learned: If he insists on paying, make sure he’s not planning to bill you for it later.
Oh, and the keychain? I kept it — as a souvenir from the weirdest date of my life.