Store Manager:
“I saw you arguing with that customer who just left. I told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand me?”
Salesclerk: “Yes, Sir.
The customer is always right.”
Store Manager: “That’s better. Now what were you arguing with the customer about?”
Salesclerk: “Well, Sir, he said you were an idiot.”
A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marvels at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence. “Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?”
“I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear.
“But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”
“You sell them here?” the customer asks.
“Only $4 each,” says Green. The customer buys three. A week later, he’s back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn’t any smarter.
“You didn’t eat enough,” says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s really angry.
“Hey, Green,” he says, “You’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You’re ripping me off!”
“You see?” says Green. “You’re smarter already.”
Two husbands were discussing their married lives.
Although happily married, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. Then Chad said, “I’ve made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word.”
“Wow!” said Sherm, “how did you manage that?”
“It’s easy,” replied Chad.
“My last word is always ‘Yes, Dear.’ “