For seven years, my wife, Jane, refused to buy a house. We had the money, credit, and stability, but she kept shutting it down. At first, I thought it was about timing, but after years of her brushing it off, I realized there was something deeper.
It wasn’t about the market or interest rates—it was something personal. When I found the perfect house, she seemed hopeful for a moment, but quickly dismissed it, saying it was too soon. One night, after I set up a showing, she broke down, telling me that buying a house made her feel trapped. Growing up, her mother used the house to control her, making her feel small and guilty for wanting to leave. The house was never hers; it was her mother’s.
I understood. For Jane, owning a house was a painful reminder of that control. She began therapy, and over time, small changes started to happen. We talked about what “home” meant to both of us, without pressure. Eventually, she felt ready to look at houses again. One night, she surprised me with a listing, and we went to see it together. A year later, we bought a house—a small, cozy place that felt like ours. We painted it together, and Jane even named a plant “Freedom” because, for the first time, she had a space that was hers, not her mother’s.
Now, when Jane says, “I can’t believe I own this,” it’s not disbelief—it’s relief. She chose this home, and it’s where she belongs.