I never expected an email from my ex-husband’s new wife, Stephanie, especially with a bill attached. It listed “expenses caused by me” during my marriage to Matt—totalling over $5,000. I wasn’t about to pay, but I did craft a response she’d never forget.
Matt and I had been divorced for two years, and I had moved on, enjoying my new life. Our marriage had been flawed from the start. While I wanted a partner, Matt wanted someone to take care of him. He became increasingly irresponsible, leaving me to handle everything—his appointments, his bills, even his self-esteem. When he lost his job, I found myself doing it all, from managing finances to his basic needs. The realization hit that I wasn’t his wife, but his mother. The divorce was amicable enough, and Matt quickly remarried.
Stephanie, with her “queen energy” and need for drama, had reached out before their wedding asking for personal details about Matt to include in the ceremony. I politely declined. Later, I learned the wedding was full of digs at me, including a slideshow portraying Matt’s life with me as dull.
Then, I received the email with her bill. She charged me for things like Matt’s new glasses, wardrobe, therapy, and fitness coaching—things she claimed were my responsibility. I couldn’t believe it.
Instead of getting angry, I had some fun. I sent her a counter-invoice, listing charges for the emotional labor I’d done during our marriage. I even CC’d some friends, who loved it. Matt called to apologize—his first ever—but I told him, “Make sure you pay that invoice.”
Stephanie wasn’t pleased, and Matt got embarrassed when someone asked him about it at a party. Now, whenever her name comes up, someone inevitably says, “Oh, you mean the one with the bill?” And I don’t regret a thing.